The Doctor Will See You Now

I went to see a doctor today. He was a specialist. He was a proctologist. I have to admit it was pretty uncomfortable. Thankfully, the guy is amazing. I have known him for years and since it was so long since I had seen him it actually felt he was genuinely happy to see me. He grew up in Brooklyn and quickly escaped the city for the trees of Connecticut years ago and has the perfect balance of intensity and kindness. I tried to stay positive during the examination and tried to keep my mind in a place where I wouldn't think too much about what he was doing. I tried to think about how many of these holes he has seen over the years. I thought about if he has ever found a way to look at his own hole. I wondered what topped his list of the absolute grossest situation he has ever witnessed. I have to admit all these thoughts were not working. No matter where I went I could not escape the reality that this man was going at me a like some high end, freaky S&M prostitute. Luckily it didn't cost hundreds of dollars and take place in some hotel room near the airport and all I had to pay was the $20 co-pay. It did offer me another reason I do not understand why someone would pay for sex.